Do you strive for perfection?
We all do, to some extent.
We often strive for perfection, whether it’s in our work, appearance, or social lives, but it’s so hard to reach that ideal state. In our world of perfectionism, it’s easy to forget that imperfection has its own unique beauty.
Everything imperfect is perfect in itself, just for it’s existence.
There are so many reasons why embracing your imperfections leads to a much more fulfilling and positive life. In this article, we’ll take an in-depth look at why imperfection should be embraced and seen as perfect for who you are!
Nobody's Perfect
When we strive for perfection, it can lead to stress and anxiety. It’s hard to be perfect all the time, and when you don’t reach that ideal state it can cause disappointment and self-criticism.
Instead of trying to reach unrealistic expectations for ourselves that never seem achievable, we should learn to accept our flaws and celebrate what makes us unique. This doesn’t mean giving up on goals or dreams; rather, it means allowing yourself some grace instead of feeling ashamed if something didn’t go perfectly according to plan.
Embracing imperfections is important because everyone else around us is also imperfect.
We’re not alone in making mistakes; everyone else does, too!
And while mistakes can be embarrassing or uncomfortable in the moment, they also provide valuable lessons that help us grow and become better people. Once we remember that everyone else is also human and capable of making mistakes themselves, it helps reduce feelings of shame and insecurity – instead, we feel compassion towards ourselves and others alike.
Celebrating imperfections allows us to live a much more fulfilling life.
When we let go of striving towards unattainable standards of perfection and instead embrace our flaws with love, gratitude, and acceptance – we open ourselves up to a whole new world of possibilities! We become happier with ourselves as well as those around us; after all, no one wants to surround themselves with fake people who put on airs just so they can seem perfect!
By accepting ourselves the way we are, warts and all, we create space for genuine connection with other people as well as true peace within ourselves.
Perfectionism in My Own Life
For most of my life, I experienced nearly debilitating perfectionism. Accomplishing much of anything was a struggle for fear of disappointing the people around me. Trying something new was just about out of the question.
To me, acceptance was entirely conditioned on perfection. My self-esteem was dependent on feedback from other people and their opinion of my performance. Anything short of perfection meant I didn’t deserve connection.
Accepting My Own Imperfections
It took me so much time to realize that the way I felt wasn’t “normal.” It was only after making connections with people who were secure in themselves and having my daughter to raise that I realized that acceptance shouldn’t be conditioned on perfection.
Since making that realization, I’ve spent my life learning not to judge my weaknesses and imperfections. I’ve been on a quest to discover how to lean in to the feelings of inadequacy and to not equate them with rejection. What was once the driving factor in my life is now an infrequent blip in my mind.
If you find this relatable, keep reading to find out how I overcame these struggles.
How to Move Past Perfectionism
In our modern world, perfectionism has become an all too common occurrence – but it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s okay not to strive for unattainable ideals and instead focus on being content with who you are. Even if it feels daunting, there are plenty of ways to move past perfectionism.
Here is my process for breaking out of perfectionism:
- Accept that change is possible.
- Learn to adjust your mindset.
- Find people who can help.
- Practice, practice, practice.
Now, let’s dig in.
1. Accept that change is possible.
Before you can embrace your imperfections, you have to accept that change is possible. Change starts with a mindset shift. You have to have the desire and belief that you can change your reality. When you acknowledge that things can be different, you create space for new habits and healthy practices to take root.
2. Learn to adjust your mindset.
Hard as it may be to believe, you have control over whether or not you feel inadequate and can learn to let go of your insecurities. To do this, you need to work on changing your mindset when it comes to self-criticism.
An excellent starting point is to read Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection. This amazing book explores the idea that embracing your imperfections is the key to true self-acceptance. With its powerful message, it can give you the courage and confidence to let go of perfectionism and take ownership of your life.
Identify your triggers and be curious about them.
As you begin working on a new mindset, start by looking at your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior with curiosity. Ask yourself questions like:
- What do I fear?
- Where does this fear come from?
- How does it affect my life?
By exploring these questions, you can begin to gain insight into your negative or anxious patterns of thinking. Gaining a better understanding of why you think and act the way you do is essential for moving forward on your journey toward letting go of perfectionism.
Fill your mind with things that make you feel confident and accepted.
Incorporate positive affirmations, statements, and mantras into your daily routine. I know it may seem a little cheesy, but simply saying statements like “I am enough” or “I am worthy” can help foster a sense of security and acceptance.
If affirmations are a little too much for you, start by giving yourself the same grace you would give to someone else. When you judge yourself harshly, ask yourself what you would think if someone else were in the same situation. It’s amazing how often we judge ourselves for something we wouldn’t even notice in someone else.
3. Find people who can help.
Having a support system that understands the challenges of perfectionism and encourages healthy habits is key to developing a more balanced outlook on life. Encouragement from friends and family, or even professional help, can make all the difference when it comes to making progress toward freedom from perfectionism. Having understanding people in our lives also allows us to openly express ourselves without fear of judgment – creating a safe space for authentic conversations and honest growth.
Seek out advice from those who show you unconditional love and support.
Friends and family can be invaluable sources of support in beating perfectionism. By providing a safe space to talk openly without judgment, they can provide you encouragement to take steps toward growth and perspective when you are stuck in negative thoughts. They can remind you that it’s OK to make mistakes and help you find purpose in the struggle. Finding the right people to inspire, motivate, and hold you accountable is essential.
Talk to a therapist or professional, if needed.
A mental health professional can provide a safe space for open dialogue and truly listen without judgment. They can help us gain new insights into our thinking patterns and behaviors, as well as offer valuable guidance in dealing with difficult emotions. Seeking support from a qualified professional is also important for gaining additional perspectives on the ways we interact with ourselves and others. Therapists are trained to provide evidence-based treatments that can help us develop healthier ways of thinking and behaving.
4. Practice, practice, practice.
Letting go of perfectionism takes time and conscious practice. It’s easy to fall back into the world of unrealistic expectations, but it’s important to recognize when these expectations are becoming detrimental to your mental health and take steps toward releasing them.
Step away from situations that trigger unhealthy thoughts about yourself.
When you feel yourself being pulled back into unrealistic expectations, be mindful of the environment and mindset you are in at that moment. If at all possible, leave the situation or take a moment to breathe and reset.
Taking time to clear your head will allow you to remind yourself that it’s okay not to strive for unattainable ideals and instead focus on being content with who you are.
Focus on activities that bring you joy and peace.
It can be difficult to tune out expectations and make time for yourself, but it’s important to do so to avoid feeling overwhelmed or frustrated by unrealistic goals. Take a few moments each day or week to do something that sparks joy or makes you feel at ease.
Activities like going for a walk, reading a book, listening to music, or simply connecting with friends are all beneficial and will help provide a sense of contentment. Over time, this should lead to increased self-awareness and inner peace – both of which will help beat perfectionism!
Practice gratitude for all life's little moments.
Try to practice gratitude throughout each day. Having a sense of appreciation for life’s little moments will help put things into perspective and remind you how far you’ve come, no matter what obstacles you may have faced during your journey.
Quotes to Help with Self-Acceptance
If I haven’t been able to convince you of the merits of embracing your imperfections and why you’re perfect for who you are, maybe it will help to hear some inspiring words from wise people such as Lucille Ball, Oscar Wilde, Carl Jung, Eleanor Roosevelt, and others. After all, if even these great people could find beauty in their imperfections and learn to love themselves despite their flaws – then surely we can too!
"You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens."
"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
"Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can."
Wrapping Up
It’s important to remember that perfection is an unrealistic goal and something you can learn to let go of. It takes conscious effort, practice, and patience, but it can be done.
Take the time to learn to shift your mindset, focus on activities that bring joy, practice gratitude for life’s little moments, and seek support from professionals or friends when needed. You will eventually find yourself in a better place mentally and emotionally. I know I did.
Remember: You are capable of achieving great things without being perfect.
